Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Men shopping

I received a comment that my profile photo made me look like a deer in the headlights. Since I've never claimed any sentience higher than a light struck ungulate I will not take offence. Actually it reminded me of men shopping.

It is a rare occurrence when a lone man stumbles alone into Keystone looking for a gift for his partner or mother, the only two gifts that really matter. Luckily men have been such crappy partners for so long that most women's expectations are so low you could glue elbow macaroni on a card in the shape of a heart and they would probably cry tears of joy. The secret of course is that we men cultivate this incompetence in order to keep expectations at an historical low. Really, how could it be possible for a man to have heard absolutely nothing for 15 years and have no knowledge of his partners tastes. It doesn't really matter what you buy your Mom as long as she gets it at the appropriate time with a little mushy emotion. Moms are good like that

This rare opportunity, a man shopping alone, is the retailers chance to test his professional gift selling expertise and move a little dusty product. Often all you have to do is put something in their hands and they are so grateful they just pass over the Amex with a stupid grin. At Keystone we pride ourselves on selecting the perfect gift for a total stranger; oddly we are better at it than the people they love.

Well, a good cliche, one that keeps women from expecting too much from us, must be perpetuated; still, the energy it takes to keep up this level of apathy can wear you out and the result of actually caring might surprise you. I have some lovely handmade jewellery you might find interesting...sir...sir...put down the squirt gun.

1 comment:

  1. As long as you remember your Mom on all the right days!! That's enough to bring on the tears. Sardisjoan